Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Where can i get a Male Ghost???

Just a boring ole' day with no files to work on and no spicy gossip to indulge on.That's when Ms S remembered that there was a Ghost at the new building where we are shifting to.Now this was something we couldn't let go of.Ghost!!!.....Hello! we are in the 21st century or is that 22nd century or whatever and now also people believe in ghosts???now this started a lively discussion about ghosts and apparitions in today's time.(Briefed below,please take notes...)
  • Why is it that Ghosts come out only in the night-I mean come out in the morning,see the sunrise,smell the morning essence.etc,or what about in the evening...hang out in the park,meet new ghosts,socialize with the elite section of evil....the list is endless.Then why the preference for night?
  • Why are ghosts so ugly-Is it by choice that ghosts remain ugly.are they supposed to have blood shot eyes and scarred faces for special effects.why not add in a bit of lipstick to enhance the effect?
  • Why do only ghosts have sound effects-You know that eery feeling when you here a violin playing or a dog howling in the middle of the night,(OK!maybe the violin was put for major effect!!!).......Does the ghost walk around with a stereo system and that too only one that plays melodramatic tunes???
  • Why do ghosts have a vengeance? All ghosts that we have seen in movies and heard about only come back to seek revenge or to find their lost love. Is ghost hood only about Revenge and Love? I mean why can’t people die happily and come back to stay with their families. They could sing, dance and have dinner together. But how could they digest the food???   
  • And to top it off why is it that all ghosts are females? Every horror movie you watch the ghost present is always a female? Don’t Men have any reason to come back as ghosts or is it that they will be scared of their own image?
Reference- Female Ghost???

Wonder when will I get to meet a Handsome Manly Ghost???

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Huh!.....My Cousin.........

You walk into a cafe for a coffee and there on that table way over there sits someone who is desperately cowering behind the recognise that person and walk over.she is at this table with this really cute looking guy and they are drinking from the same coffee.....

Me-     "hey you?long time its been"
Ms R-   huh!"hi you"
Me-      (looking like an idiot)..."fine da.......going on"
Ms R-    ....."so u"
Me-      (i came to wash the floor....duuuhhh).."just here for coffee"
Ms R-   (uncomfortable silence for two seconds......)
Me-      "So this is???"(ya ya!!I am INTRUDING!!!)
Ms R-   "Ya da....i so forgot to introduce you guys....This is my cousin......"

 Notice how every couple tend to introduce in this way.You'll agree with me that if you are from India this is a common phenomenon only seen in the rare breed of people called youth.nowadays everyone has a bf/gf (no...not what you think...its boyfriend/girlfriend). even my mother's students who aren't old enough to hold a pen can hold a girl's hand and coyly say"enikkum oru boyfriend"so anyway in this twisted how do you go out with your boyfriend on a bike without elders hitting their heads.."siva siva avalde oru ahankaram". here comes the sheer geniousness of the younger generation,since your boyfriend does not resemble you in any way,unless he actually does.(disclaimer-you can jump to your own conclusions).so then what can you call him that won't make people question you???.....Answer-your COUSIN!!!.

Last heard in FM 93.5 when i was traveling in a bus.The Cousin Strategy!!!The RJ was going on about how when you get into college,you have so much time to hang out with different cousins.So anyway the older gen has caught onto the strategy.You see they have X-ray vision,so whenever you say that this guy is your cousin,they analyze him head to foot to see if that's true.Nowadays even if you are going out with your cousin,no one is going to believe you.

So by the way,I changed my Prepaid to Corporate Postpaid Plan.The A-Company Rep comes to my office and tells me that with the new plan I get an add on SIM.So i can give it to anyone of my family members.(winks..) "Give it to anyone and just tell them to say they are your brother or husband if some one calls and asks..."(winks..).
The other day my friend came to see me.I ask the security guard to call up the back gate and let him in.The Guard hands me the phone and i tell the guard at the back gate to let my friend in.So when i keep the phone the security guard turns to me (wink..) "Next time tell them its your brother or cousin coming..."(winks..)............

And for your kind information it was my Cousin who came that day.....;-)


enikkum oru boyfriend-                    I also have a boyfriend
siva siva avalde oru ahankaram-     OH God the nerve of that girl

Sunday, 11 March 2012

One Morning.....

The long,sharp knife sent a shiver through my back.I saw the beads of sweat on her forehead.I knew she was going to do something that she might regret later on......
It had all started on a fine morning.I had gotten up at 7 as my M.COM assignments were due in a week.Finally after days of procrastinating i decided to complete it as soon as possible.Amma was already up and in the kitchen.I went down and asked if she wanted Tea.She had a strange look on her face as if something disastrous was going to happen.I decided to make her a cup of tea as she must be tensed about her tuition students year end exams starting today.I made two cups of tea and sat down to start on my assignments and that's when i heard the sharpening of the know that gut feeling when you watch horror movies that something is going to happen the next second.She felt the sharp end of the knife and ran a finger to feel its sharpness.just watching that gave me the goosebumps.She picked up the knife and brought it close to the neck and whacked hard.I could see the Blood running and that's how after one hour my Amma made her first Chicken Biryani.

Friday, 9 March 2012

Baag Baag

Delhi Belly,was what i was watching right now and its a movie which i can rate as one of the must see movies for todays gen.its unbashedness is what appeals to the common man.
The story of three friends over 2 days make up one helluva story.Vir Das as the frusrated Arup is the most enjoyable to watch.his transformation in the way he sees himself after his girlfriend dumped him is a must watch.Kunal Roy Kapoor as the unashamed photographer blackmailer Nitin Beri comes about as a snigger riot.The  person who i most admired was Imran Khan as the ever-famous journalist Tashi.Imran Khan has managed well to perform beyond his chocolate boy looks and this definitley brings out his acting talent.The short synopsis revolves around the three friends and how dropping off the wrong packet at the wrong place gets them all into major trouble.
The movie was a major hit among the youth as it was what you say in full meaning Hatke from the usual masala movies and that's what makes it wonderful to watch.The lyrics of the songs are just mind boggling and the dialogues are full of cuss words.So what are you waiting for watch it now.........

Baag Baag DK Bose DK Bose DK Bose Baag...........

P.S-For all those who don't know...please read into the lyrics of the above song.........;-)

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Divine Intervention

So started of the day by letting you guyz knowing that i hate being a woman,but who knew...good luck or what,when i came to work today my entire floor was literally out on the floor.Turns out the AC had not been working for the past 8-10 hours and there wasn't a drop of water to drink.And guess what bcoz of Womens Day...some company came up with a finally after 1 hour of shopping at Ground Zero went up for drinks to our food court.After 1 more hour Mr.A (Colleague) called to let me know that AC had come back on.Dragged myself to work to know that there wasn't a single file pending.So guess what we were doing for the next 5 hours.........:-)

P.S-Even the Mango Shake I had ordered was divinely overflowing....

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

To be a Woman

They say women are lucky to be born women.why i ask???turns out that there are lot of things that we have and can do that men can't.what i ask???the ultimate answer is giving birth.what as if raising an orangutan isn't enough.clubbed with the few little things namely...........getting clothes becomes a tedious task once you turn thirteen except for those who manage to look like a wall slammed itself against them,and that too is you are from a city as mine you cannot walk alone after 7 and you are considered the hooker category,if you have the guts to go sit in the same seat as a guy other than having him dig his elbows into your sides you also have to feel the others stares on you while the older ladies can mumble..."the nerve of that girl to go sit near the guy..." and the older men can say.."sluts i say,all of them",the PMS that accompany the Cycle of wrath with us wriggling in pain while my mother can say..."i have also had it,don't make a huge scene" and the epitome of severity...suffering through hours of labor pain to get an orangutan who won't even listen to you..............

Happy Women's' Day!

Grand Opening

So what's more pathetic than being a 24 year old accountant and not having a life.nowadays they say that everyone is on the internet reading and coming up with blogs of their own.If you are tired of putting up every little information as how many times you peed today and why is the neighbors' dog barking his head off matters in twitter and Facebook,why not come up with your blog where you can write up about how many coffees you have had the previous hour.So that pretty much makes up a very screwed up life and here's to its Grand Opening.